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Left and right are just about the same these days, anyway. LIBERTY: Why do you think that is? TINMAN: (CREAKS) OIL: SCARECROW: Money. LIBERTY: Why’s money so important? TIN MAN: Oil (he squeaks) (Liberty and the Scarecrow stare first at him and then at each other.) LIBERTY whispers: Good thing we went right. We’d never have found him on the path leading left. SCARECROW: What did you say? TIN MAN: Oil. What’d’ya have, straw in your ears? I’m dry as a Texas oil well. (Liberty and Scarecrow notice the oil can just out of Tin Man’s reach. Liberty grabs it and oils Tin Man’s jaw. It starts to flap. Liberty and Scarecrow begin to laugh) TIN MAN: Shut up and help me you fools. SCARECROW: You can call me a fool, but that’s Liberty you’re insulting. You’d better watch it. Who do you think you are anyway? TIN MAN: I’m Dick Cheney. Who the Hell are you SCARECROW: I’m GW Bush. This is Liberty Liberty (Politely): How do you do. TIN MAN: I’d be a whole lot better if you’d stop jawing and finish. "I sort of thought you were joking." Yeah. I was serious, man. I wish I did have a dick, more than anything. Balls too." I stared at my friends, like I was challenging them."So when your, um, pussy gets wet ... What do you do?" Matt asked me."I dunno." I shrugged. "Sometimes I touch it, you know, my clit and stuff. Sometimes I just ignore it. I try to pretend it's not a pussy, it's a dick, you know? Mostly I close my eyes and just think ... Not really touching or anything." That's weird, dude." Lance chuckled."Yeah," John agreed. "So you just think about girls, huh?" Yeah, you don't like guys right?" Lance asked.I kind of hesitated before answering that one. "I don't like girls, okay. I'm not a lesbian or anything." But if you're a guy..." Lance laughed."On the inside, yeah." I nodded."Then why don't you like girls?" Kyle asked me."Because, uh, I'm gay."I kind of let that one hang there until all four guys just busted up laughing at me."I'm serious!" I protested, but it was no use,.
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